Do you like books?

I like books. I like people who like books. But if you don’t like books, there’s a good chance I’ll still like you. I’ll think you’re missing out on some great adventures, some culture, and some wonderful knowledge, but I recognize that people have different preferences. Some of my friends think I’m missing out, because I don’t like sports, but I don’t intend on enjoying those anytime soon.

The problem I have is when people claim they like books, and then the conversation goes something like this — and mind you, I’ve had the following conversation several times (with some variation, of course)…

Other Person: “I like books!”

Brandon: “Really? I like books, too! What kinds of books do you like? Have you read anything good recently?”

OP: “I really like fantasy books.”

B: “Oh great, me too! Have you gotten through Lord of the Rings yet?”

OP: “Oh no, I started it once, but it’s so long. I loved Harry Potter, though. I’ve read them all three times. And I recently finished the Hunger Games series. Have you heard of that?”

B: *struck by sudden fear* “…um, yes. Have you read any of the Narnia books at least?”

OP: “Oh, I saw the movies.”

B: *realizing I need to quit talking to this person about books ASAP* “Well you should definitely try reading them some time. You could probably blaze through them in a few days. So, uh, are you excited about them making Hunger Games into a movie? Let’s talk about movies and TV.”

So the moral of the story: If you’re going to claim to be a book lover but your knowledge of the topic is confined to modern pop fiction for children, please be aware that you sound silly claiming that you are a book lover.

Or just throw out a caveat, and I’m more than willing to cut you some slack.